Pace-Act
A poser in football who thinks they're quick. They wear loud boots and act like they can run circles around you, but they can't even run straight.
'He did a stepover like he was in a fancy dance class, then tripped over his own shadow.'
'That Pace-Act looked like a confused disco ball trying to sprint.'
'He wore shoes that shouted and did a backflip, then landed like a sack of bricks.'