pablumizing

Fresh

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Turning smart ideas into dumb, watered-down junk so the average person doesn't have to think harder than they do when they're pooping.

The newspaper turned a bold plan into a paragraph that reads like a naptime story.

They took a revolutionary idea and made it sound like something a toddler would say.

The policy was so good, they made it so bad it could be a bedtime story.

A tiny, annoying problem that gets blown up like it's the end of the world, and no one can stop talking about it.

Your coworker is mad about a broken coffee machine like it's a war crime.

You're arguing about a missing sock like it's the final battle of the universe.

They’re making a big deal about a tiny mistake like it's a personal insult.

A world full of losers who think being serious is the same as being smart and don't get the joke.

The office is full of people who don’t know how to laugh and think being serious is being cool.

The world is run by people who don’t understand why anyone would ever make a joke.

They banned jokes like they’re a criminal offense.

Clothes that are so soft they feel like you're wearing a cloud and your butt.

You wear these pajamas and feel like you're floating in a pool of happiness.

These sweats are so comfy, you might never leave your house again.

You put them on and forget your name, your problems, and your life.

Choosing to think hard, even when it hurts, instead of just settling for the easy, boring stuff.

You read a book that actually makes your brain work, not just a story about a cat who wants a sandwich.

You actually think about something instead of just scrolling through your phone.

You listen to a real argument instead of just a fake one from a social media post.