P-Value
A number that shows how much you're doomed. If it's 5.00 or lower, you're basically the class clown of being doomed.
"I got a P-Value of 5.00. That's like being doomed and no one can save you.", Ethan, after failing a test
"Her P-Value is 4.00. That's like being doomed and still having hope.", Grace, in math class
"My P-Value is 3.00. That's like being doomed and still trying.", Alex, after failing a quiz