P-jizzlin'

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When you're so lazy you'd rather die in your pajamas than move an inch.

I slept through my mom's screaming and my dog's death. P-jizzlin' is my lifestyle.

I got a text saying 'fire' and I just went 'meh' and stayed in my pajamas.

I didn't even brush my teeth. I just looked at my reflection and said, 'You're fine.'

When you're so lazy you'd rather eat pizza for breakfast than get out of bed.

My alarm went off and I just stared at it like it was my enemy. P-jizzlin' is real.

I had a meeting and I just showed up in pajamas. My boss said, 'You're fired... but I like you.'

I got a call from my mom and I just said, 'I'm not alive.'

When you're so lazy you'd rather let your dog feed you than get up.

I let my dog bring me breakfast and I just said, 'You're my hero.'

I didn't even wash my face. I just looked at my dog and said, 'You're my best friend.'

I got a text from my boss saying 'come to work' and I just said, 'I'm not alive.'

When you're so lazy you'd rather die than put on real clothes.

I wore my pajamas to the grocery store and the cashier said, 'You're my hero.'

I got a text from my mom saying, 'You're dead.' I just said, 'I'm p-jizzlin'.'

I didn't even brush my hair. I just looked at my reflection and said, 'You're fine.'

When you're so lazy you'd rather let your dog feed you than get up.

My dog brought me breakfast and I just said, 'You're my hero.'

I didn't even wash my face. I just looked at my dog and said, 'You're my best friend.'

I got a text from my boss saying 'come to work' and I just said, 'I'm not alive.'

When you're so lazy you'd rather let your dog feed you than get up.

My dog brought me breakfast and I just said, 'You're my hero.'

I didn't even wash my face. I just looked at my dog and said, 'You're my best friend.'

I got a text from my boss saying 'come to work' and I just said, 'I'm not alive.'