P-996 Lazer
This is the jet you ride when you're too lazy to steal a helicopter. It shoots missiles, locks on like a lunatic, and has a cannon that explodes your enemies’ brains. It’s stuck in a stupid desert with no snacks.
I flew the P-996 and exploded three cops. They didn’t even bring snacks.
That jet is the only thing keeping me from crying in the desert.
I shot missiles at a truck. It exploded. I got a snack. They didn’t.