O'neils

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1
Breasts. Tatum O'Neil is just a fancy way of saying tits. People go bonkers over her like she’s the last piece of pizza.
Tatum O'Neil is the reason I skipped class today.
My mom says I look like Tatum O'Neil when I eat too much ice cream.
He proposed to her because he thought she was a walking Tatum O'Neil.
2
O'Neil is a god among men. Everyone thinks he’s a hero. In reality, he’s just a guy who says ‘Oh, hero’ and everyone worships him like he’s the pope.
My teacher said I’m the new O'Neil of the classroom.
He called me O'Neil because I yelled at the principal.
I think I’m an O'Neil now because I used the word ‘hero’ three times in one sentence.
3
Jack O’Neil is a Colonel in the Air Force. He goes through the Stargate. He shoots everything. He has more sarcasm than a broken toaster.
Jack O’Neil shot the replicator like it owed him money.
He told the alien, ‘You’re not the boss of me.’
He shot the alien’s pet parrot and called it a ‘sarcasm upgrade’.
4
The O’Neil is a spaceship that the Asgard built. It fights replicators like they’re the worst kind of homework.
The O’Neil flew past the replicator like it was a school bus.
They called it the O’Neil because it looked like a big, angry donut.
The replicator screamed when the O’Neil showed up.
5
O’Neil is the boss. Whatever he says, that’s how it goes. No arguing. No questions. Just obedience.
My dad said I was the O’Neil of the family.
He said, ‘O’Neil says so,’ and I had to eat my veggies.
She called me the O’Neil because I told her to shut up.
6
A drunk Irishman who takes the bus home. He’s the worst kind of drunk. He smells like whiskey and regret.
He took the bus home like it was a personal insult.
The bus driver called him the O’Neil of drunks.
He fell off the bus and said, ‘I’ll be back, I promise.’
7
An O’Neiller is when a man gets really sad and starts growing a beard. It’s not a midlife crisis. It’s just him being angry and lonely.
He grew a beard and called it the O’Neiller of sadness.
My uncle turned into an O’Neiller after his cat died.
He said, ‘I’m not having a midlife crisis. I’m having an O’Neiller.’
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