O.G. G-ma

She showed up to my job interview wearing a fanny pack and a shirt that said 'I survived the 70s.'

She called my boss 'kid' and told him I was 'a disappointment but not a total loss.'

She showed up to my wedding with a boombox and a bottle of wine she stole from the bar.

She texted me during my first day of college: 'Don’t be a dumbass.'

She showed up to my apartment during finals week with soup and a lecture about how I ‘didn’t even try.’

She called my ex ‘a waste of good breath’ and then asked if I wanted seconds.

She showed up at my first date and told my crush, 'He’s a good boy, but I’ve seen better.'

She sent me a voice note during my breakup: 'You didn’t even cry hard enough.'

She showed up at my gym and told the trainer, 'I used to be able to deadlift this guy.'