O'Doul's Party

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A party where everyone is too cheap to buy real drinks and just sips lukewarm beer.

My cousin's birthday was just me and three other people drinking O'Doul's like it was liquid gold.

The whole office had a 'dry' party and I was the only one who didn't bring wine.

My ex threw me a 'non-alcoholic' party and I showed up with a bottle of vodka.

A party where people pretend they're cool by not getting drunk.

My aunt's 'non-alcoholic' party was just me and her eating chips and pretending we were rock stars.

The kid from math class had a 'no-drink' party and I showed up with a six-pack and a smirk.

My mom's 'dry' party was just me and her fighting over the last soda.

A party so boring it makes you want to drink something just to get out of it.

My uncle's 'non-alcoholic' party was so boring I almost brought my own wine just to survive.

My cousin had a 'no-drink' party and I left because I was too tired to pretend I liked it.

At my neighbor's 'dry' party, I just sat there and counted the chips.