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When you get a hard-on for octopuses, not because they’re cute, but because they’ve got eight arms and you’re tired of your ex’s drama.
I saw an octopus on the internet and instantly forgot my ex ever existed.
I told my mom I was going to be an octopus lover, she said I was crazy.
I called my crush an octopus, he asked why, I said because I like you and you have eight arms.