Octothorp

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1 views · Added 7d ago · 9 definitions

1
When you get a hard-on for octopuses, not because they’re cute, but because they’ve got eight arms and you’re tired of your ex’s drama.
I saw an octopus on the internet and instantly forgot my ex ever existed.
I told my mom I was going to be an octopus lover, she said I was crazy.
I called my crush an octopus, he asked why, I said because I like you and you have eight arms.
2
The symbol for the pound, but also the symbol for your frustration when you see it and think of how much money you’ve lost.
I saw a # and it made me want to punch my bank account.
My friend called me a # and I said I was going to beat him up.
I saw a # and it reminded me I have zero money.
3
A weird sex position where four people lie on the floor and do weird stuff with their mouths. It looks like a tic-tac-toe board and it’s the worst.
My friend tried the octothorpe and it was like a group project gone wrong.
I saw the octothorpe and I thought, this is why I don’t have friends.
My sister did the octothorpe and it ended with her crying and me laughing.
4
A lazy person who sits in the lobby all day waiting for someone to log on so they can call that person a cheater and feel better about themselves.
I sat in the lobby for three hours just to yell at someone for being a cheater.
I waited for my friend to log on so I could call him a quitter.
I called my brother a cheater because he beat me, even though I didn’t log on.
5
A forum troll who yells about everything and nothing because they have zero life and zero job and zero personality.
I saw a forum troll yelling about the sky and I laughed until I cried.
My friend called me a forum troll because I complained about the weather.
I posted on a forum and got yelled at by someone who had no life.
6
A noob who attacks every platform no matter the map. Their motto is ‘the bigger the map, the more plats I attack with.’
I saw a noob attack 10 platforms on a map that was 100 feet long.
My friend said the bigger the map, the more plats I attack with, and I agreed.
I attacked a platform on a map that was smaller than my bedroom and got yelled at.
7
Octothorpe is fake, and the person who made it is a confused, insecure, 14-year-old who needs to go outside and stop being so weird.
I called octothorpe fake and my friend agreed.
My mom said octothorpe was fake and I believed her.
I told my teacher octothorpe was fake and got a detention.
8
Synonyms for octothorpe include OctoDork, OctoDolt, and Assmunch. These names are all made up and mean the same thing, which is ‘you’re an idiot.’
I called my friend an OctoDork and he cried.
My sister called me an OctoDolt because I failed math.
I called my brother an Assmunch and he said I was a coward.
9
Octothorpe is also known as Octopussy to his boyfriends, and he only has one strat in HW2: rush platforms.
My friend is Octopussy and he only has one strat.
I called my crush Octopussy and he said he liked it.
My boyfriend is Octopussy and he only does one strat.
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