Octothorp

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When you get a hard-on for octopuses, not because they’re cute, but because they’ve got eight arms and you’re tired of your ex’s drama.

I saw an octopus on the internet and instantly forgot my ex ever existed.

I told my mom I was going to be an octopus lover, she said I was crazy.

I called my crush an octopus, he asked why, I said because I like you and you have eight arms.

The symbol for the pound, but also the symbol for your frustration when you see it and think of how much money you’ve lost.

I saw a # and it made me want to punch my bank account.

My friend called me a # and I said I was going to beat him up.

I saw a # and it reminded me I have zero money.

A weird sex position where four people lie on the floor and do weird stuff with their mouths. It looks like a tic-tac-toe board and it’s the worst.

My friend tried the octothorpe and it was like a group project gone wrong.

I saw the octothorpe and I thought, this is why I don’t have friends.

My sister did the octothorpe and it ended with her crying and me laughing.

A lazy person who sits in the lobby all day waiting for someone to log on so they can call that person a cheater and feel better about themselves.

I sat in the lobby for three hours just to yell at someone for being a cheater.

I waited for my friend to log on so I could call him a quitter.

I called my brother a cheater because he beat me, even though I didn’t log on.

A forum troll who yells about everything and nothing because they have zero life and zero job and zero personality.

I saw a forum troll yelling about the sky and I laughed until I cried.

My friend called me a forum troll because I complained about the weather.

I posted on a forum and got yelled at by someone who had no life.

A noob who attacks every platform no matter the map. Their motto is ‘the bigger the map, the more plats I attack with.’

I saw a noob attack 10 platforms on a map that was 100 feet long.

My friend said the bigger the map, the more plats I attack with, and I agreed.

I attacked a platform on a map that was smaller than my bedroom and got yelled at.

Octothorpe is fake, and the person who made it is a confused, insecure, 14-year-old who needs to go outside and stop being so weird.

I called octothorpe fake and my friend agreed.

My mom said octothorpe was fake and I believed her.

I told my teacher octothorpe was fake and got a detention.

Synonyms for octothorpe include OctoDork, OctoDolt, and Assmunch. These names are all made up and mean the same thing, which is ‘you’re an idiot.’

I called my friend an OctoDork and he cried.

My sister called me an OctoDolt because I failed math.

I called my brother an Assmunch and he said I was a coward.

Octothorpe is also known as Octopussy to his boyfriends, and he only has one strat in HW2: rush platforms.

My friend is Octopussy and he only has one strat.

I called my crush Octopussy and he said he liked it.

My boyfriend is Octopussy and he only does one strat.