octopus parent
a parent who is like an octopus with eight arms and a mouth full of swear words. they do everything at once and never let you forget it
I had a math test and a soccer game at the same time. My mom was there for both and still yelled at me for my bad grade.
My dad was cooking breakfast, helping my brother with homework, and texting my aunt all at once. I asked him how he did it. He said, 'I'm a goddamn octopus.'
My mom came into my room while I was on the phone, told me to get dressed, and said, 'If you don’t, I’ll scream so loud your friends will hear it in the next state.'