October 69

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October 69th is when you throw a full bag of crap on your neighbor’s bed and laugh like you just won the lottery.

My cousin did this to his enemy and now he’s sleeping on a mattress in the park.

I threw a bag of spaghetti on my teacher’s bed and got suspended for life.

My dog peed on my neighbor’s bed and I screamed like it was a horror movie.

Some say October 69th is really the 8th of December, but those people are just confused and probably still mad about the bed incident.

My mom says it’s December 8th, but I swear I saw her throw a bag of dog food on the bed.

My dad thinks it’s December 8th, but he’s still mad I peed on his bed.

My friend thinks it’s December 8th, but he’s been sleeping on the couch since October.

Fuck yo homies day is when you betray your best friend just to get a bag of chips.

I told my best friend I was going to eat the last bag of chips and now he’s crying in the hallway.

My homie flipped me because I took his last snack and now he’s my enemy.

I told my homie I was going to eat the last bag of chips, and now he’s eating my chips.