octavious

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Has an 8-inch penis that never stops getting hard. Loves to party like it's his birthday every single day, even if it's not.

Bro, Octavious walks in and the whole bar goes silent. Then he starts dancing.

He showed up at my house on the 8th of April and just started eating my mom's lasagna.

His penis is so big, it's like a billboard for his own brand.

A total legend. Smart as hell, never backs down, and will laugh at your dumbest joke. He’s the friend you call when life gets too real.

Octavious told my teacher I was a ‘disgrace to the human race’ and she gave me extra credit.

He turned my math test into a rap battle and I failed.

He called my mom a ‘fart in a pants’ and she still sends me cookies.

A man who’s always ready to get it on. He’ll sleep with anything. And he’s the best friend you ever had.

Octavious tried to seduce my dog and it just stared at him like he was a weirdo.

He told my sister he’d ‘take her to a place where there are no rules.’ She believed him.

He once asked my grandfather if he wanted to ‘do the horizontal shuffle’ and he just nodded.

A phone system that looks cool, runs smooth, and lets you make your phone look like it's from the future. People go nuts for it.

My phone runs Octavious and I look like I’ve got a million dollars.

I tried to install Octavious and my phone exploded. It was worth it.

Octavious is so good, my phone now talks to me like it’s my ex.

A guy who only showed up for a few seconds on a cartoon, but everyone still remembers him. He’s kind of a nobody, but still annoying.

Octavious came on SpongeBob and immediately messed up my life.

He was on the show for like five seconds and I still think about him every day.

He told me my life was ‘boring’ and I haven’t forgiven him yet.

A nickname that means 8 lives, and those lives are wild, loud, and usually covered in glitter.

Octavious has 8 lives and he used them all on me.

He once used 3 of his lives to make me cry and I still hate him.

He told me his lives were ‘literally magic’ and I believed him.

Bread that’s been pumped full of fentanyl. It’s like a sandwich that will kill you.

Octavious gave me a slice of this bread and I died. It was glorious.

I ate it and my whole class passed out. It was like a zombie apocalypse.

It’s the only thing I’ve ever seen that could beat my mom’s lasagna.