ocifer
When you're so wasted you think a cop is a magician who pulled a ticket out of a hat.
I told the ocifer I was a superhero. He said, 'Then why are you driving like a toddler?'
The ocifer said I was lucky he didn’t write me a ticket. I said, 'You’re lucky I didn’t write you a poem.'
The ocifer asked me my name. I said, 'Your worst nightmare.'