oceaneering
A job where you get paid to be a sea-dwelling idiot, swimming around like a fish with a job and a bad attitude.
"I got a job as an oceaneer. I swim with whales and get paid. I'm the sea's biggest idiot.", @SeaDwellingIdiot
"I'm an oceaneer. I dive to the bottom of the ocean and yell at the fish. It pays well.", @FishYeller
"I'm not a diver. I'm an oceaneer. I have a job and a grudge against the sea.", @GrudgeSea