OCD Gardener

Current
#lawn rage#plant drama#nighttime gardening

0 views · Added 10d ago · 3 definitions

1
The old man who yells at your roses like they stole his lunch money and spends more time on his lawn than his wife. He’ll throw a fit if you water your plants on a Tuesday.
I saw him throw a shovel at my azaleas because they were 'not symmetrical enough.'
He called my lawn 'a disgrace' after I let my dog poop on it.
He sent me a 12-page letter about my hydrangeas being 'too pink.'
by Slangipedia 10d ago
2
That grumpy neighbor who treats your garden like it’s a crime scene. He mows your grass in his sleep and calls your tulips 'unimpressive.'
He came to my house with a lawnmower and a clipboard. I had no idea what was happening.
He called my garden 'a disgrace of nature' after I planted a tomato plant.
He texted me at 2 a. m. to tell me my peonies were 'too loud.'
by Slangipedia 10d ago
3
The guy who shames your plants like they’re on reality TV. He’s got a degree in horticulture and a grudge against anything that doesn’t grow straight.
He told my mom my garden was 'a failure' and then left a rose on my porch with a note that said 'please grow straight.'
He mowed my lawn while I was at school and left a thank-you note that said 'you’re welcome, loser.'
He called my garden 'a disgrace' and then offered me a job as his lawn slave.
by Slangipedia 10d ago
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