Occult Psychology

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Occult Psychology is like trying to figure out why your brain is messed up by ghosts, magic, and other annoying things that don't make sense.

My therapist says I have a demon in my head. I say he's just a bad roommate.

I tried to read tarot cards and got a vibe that my ex is still mad about the cat.

I believe in ghosts. That's why I failed algebra.

Occult Psychology is when you think your brain is haunted by magic and you're too lazy to prove it.

I don't need proof. My dreams told me I'm cursed.

I passed my math test because the spirit of Pythagoras helped me.

I blamed my bad grades on my ex's evil twin.

Occult Psychology is when you blame everything that goes wrong on magic, ghosts, or something else that isn't real.

I failed my test because the witch in my math book cursed me.

I got a bad haircut because my barber was possessed by a hippo.

I couldn't sleep because my bed was haunted by my mom's old boyfriend.

Occult Psychology is when you think your brain is powered by ghosts and you're too dumb to notice it.

I passed the test because my ghostly grandfather whispered the answers to me.

I got a bad grade because my brain was possessed by a gremlin.

My teacher said I was too distracted. I said it was the devil's fault.

Occult Psychology is when you think your brain is full of magic, and you're too dumb to know it.

I got a bad grade because my brain was full of fireballs.

I passed the test because my brain was powered by aliens.

My teacher said I was lazy. I said it was the curse of the lazy.

Occult Psychology is when you think your brain is haunted by magic, and you're too lazy to check.

I got a bad grade because my brain was haunted by my ex.

I passed the test because my brain was powered by a wizard.

I blamed my teacher for being evil.