Occam's shit stick

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Occam's shit stick is when you take a simple problem and turn it into a mess of nonsense because you're too dumb to accept the obvious answer.

Why did the bus break down? Because the bus was cursed by the ghost of my first grade teacher.

My phone died because the universe hates me.

The dog ran away because he was tired of my bad vibes.

Occam's shit stick is when you see a basic thing and add a million dumb reasons to make it seem like it's some kind of miracle.

The coffee tasted bad because the beans were from the afterlife.

I got a B because the teacher was possessed by a goat.

The lights flickered because the universe was tired of my existence.

Occam's shit stick is when you try to explain something simple with something even more complicated and usually full of stupid nonsense.

The computer froze because the Wi-Fi was haunted.

I missed the bus because the sidewalk was trying to kill me.

The pizza was cold because the oven had a grudge against me.

Occam's shit stick is when you're too dumb to accept the simple answer and instead make up a bunch of stupid stuff to explain it.

The sky is blue because the clouds are holding a secret meeting.

The math problem was hard because the numbers were trying to escape.

My dog barked because he saw the ghost of my ex.

Occam's shit stick is when you make a basic thing into a full-blown disaster just because you're too dumb to accept it.

The traffic was bad because the cars were fighting over the road.

I spilled my juice because the liquid had a vendetta against me.

The internet cut out because the servers were tired of my existence.

Occam's shit stick is when you take a simple problem and turn it into a mess of dumb nonsense just to sound smart.

The test was hard because the questions were cursed.

My shoes broke because the floor was trying to murder me.

The TV turned off because the remote was jealous of me.