obssa

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The only person in the world who’s so nice they might as well be a saint, but with a lot more swear words and a bit less holy water.

My cousin is an obssa. She gave me $20 for my lunch money and yelled at my brother for stealing it.

My obssa teacher let me off easy for skipping class because she saw me crying in the hallway.

My obssa neighbor brought me soup when my cat died. And also told my dad to stop snoring.

A person so kind they could make a rock feel loved, but they also have a mean streak that comes out when you don’t do your homework.

My obssa friend cried when my dog ran away, but then she yelled at me for not doing my math problems.

My obssa mom gave me a hug, then took away my phone for a week.

My obssa uncle sent me a pizza and a letter saying I was the best kid ever, then told my dad he was a lousy father.

Someone who is so good-hearted they might just be the human version of a unicorn, but they also swear like a sailor when you fail a test.

My obssa friend brought me cookies when I failed my science test, then told my teacher I was a ‘dumbass’ behind her back.

My obssa brother gave me a 100% on my math quiz, then yelled at me for eating my lunch in class.

My obssa grandma gave me a hug, then told my dad he was the worst dad in the world.