obsfucation

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Using too many big words and random facts to hide the truth and make people feel stupid.

Why is the sky blue? Because the atmosphere scatters light and the moon is made of cheese.

I can’t explain why I’m late. My car had a meeting with a tree and my dog decided to take a nap in a volcano.

The reason I didn’t do my homework is because the pencil was sad and the eraser was busy crying.

Making things so complicated that even a genius would throw a tantrum and quit.

The reason I didn’t answer your question is because I was arguing with a calculator about the meaning of life.

I didn’t show up to work because my alarm clock had a PhD and refused to wake up.

I failed the test because the questions were written in the language of a confused alien.

Talking in circles so much that you might as well be a broken record in a room full of deaf people.

I don’t know what I’m doing. I just follow my feelings and the advice of a very confused chicken.

I told you the answer three times. You just didn’t listen. Now I’m going to yell it at you.

I don’t know what time it is. My watch is on vacation and my phone is crying.

Putting so much nonsense in your explanation that it sounds like a broken blender trying to explain love.

The reason I missed the meeting is because my coffee had a bad day and my shoes were arguing about politics.

I didn’t send the email because my keyboard was busy writing a novel and my computer was tired.

I can’t explain why the sky is green. My brain is on strike and my eyes are on vacation.

Trying so hard to sound smart that you end up sounding like a confused parrot who just got hit by a truck.

The reason I didn’t show up is because my brain had a meeting with my soul and my feet were busy fighting a war.

I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was busy arguing with my shadow about the meaning of life.

I didn’t do the math problem because the numbers were too loud and my pencil was tired.