obnoxiodad

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When your dad is so annoying he turns you into a human scream machine that needs a nap and a curse word.

Dad: 'You think you're cool? I was cool before you were born!' Me: 'I'm gonna scream until my vocal cords explode.'

Dad: 'I'm still better than you at everything.' Me: 'You're not even good at being bad.'

Dad: 'You're not my kid.' Me: 'Good. I'm not your kid anymore.'

When your dad is so obnoxious he makes your brain short-circuit and your face turn into a frowny emoji.

Dad: 'I had 10 kids, and I was still cool.' Me: 'You're not cool. You're a dad.'

Dad: 'I'm gonna outlive you.' Me: 'I'm gonna outlive you by 20 years and also out-swear you.'

Dad: 'I'm still the best.' Me: 'You're the best at being annoying.'

When your dad is so annoying he makes you wish he was dead, and also makes your mom laugh at your misery.

Dad: 'I was a rockstar before you were born.' Me: 'You were a rockstar in a sock.'

Dad: 'I was cooler than your friends.' Me: 'Your friends were cooler than your brain.'

Dad: 'You're not even worth my time.' Me: 'You're not even worth my brain cells.'