Oblivionn

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18 views · Added 1mo ago · 6 definitions

1
A human version of a doorknob, they don’t know what’s going on around them, but they think they’re the main event. They walk through life like they’re the only one with a brain and everyone else is just there to laugh at them.
I tried to tell him the fire alarm was going off, but he just kept eating his taco like it was a normal Tuesday.
She spilled coffee on my shirt and didn’t even notice. I looked like a raccoon that got hit by a truck.
He walked into a wall and still said he was ‘in the zone.’
2
They're like a blind person who also forgot how to breathe. They think they're cool, but they're just leaving a trail of chaos and bad decisions everywhere they go.
He texted me a selfie in the middle of a car crash and said, ‘This is epic.’
She yelled at the TV like it was her ex, and no one else knew what was going on.
He tried to fix the printer with a banana, and no one stopped him.
3
They’re like a broken toaster, they don’t know what they’re doing, but they think they’re the best thing since sliced bread. They make messes and don’t even know they’re doing it.
He walked into the kitchen and yelled, ‘I’m going to be rich someday,’ then tried to eat the cereal box.
She started a fight with a vending machine and won.
He told his mom he was ‘doing yoga’ and then fell off the couch.
4
They think they're the main character of a movie, but the only thing they're good for is making everyone else look good by comparison. They don’t see what’s in front of them, and they don’t care.
He took the last slice of pizza and didn’t even notice I was standing there.
She texted me a picture of her cat and called it ‘the best photo ever taken.’
He got lost in the mall and thought it was a ‘mystery adventure.’
5
They're like a kid who thinks the moon is following them, they don’t know what’s going on, but they’re convinced they’re the center of the universe. They make a mess and then walk away like they did something amazing.
He threw his sandwich at the wall and called it ‘a new art form.’
She walked into the pool and didn’t realize she was wearing pants.
He tried to teach the dog calculus and the dog just stared at him.
6
They’re like a broken blender, they don’t know what they’re doing, but they think they’re mixing up the best smoothie ever. They leave destruction in their wake and don’t even know it.
He tried to fix the internet with a spoon and a banana.
She told the teacher the class was ‘a bunch of losers’ and got sent to the office.
He walked into a wall and said, ‘This is my moment.’
xs