oblitaplastered

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You’re so drunk you don’t know your own face and you’re screaming at a pizza box.

I woke up in a ditch with a chicken and a spoon. I was oblitaplastered.

My dog drank my beer and I cried. I was oblitaplastered.

I tried to text my mom and sent a cat a love letter. I was oblitaplastered.

You’re so wasted you think your best friend is a sock and you’re dancing on a couch.

I danced on my uncle’s couch and called him a sock. I was oblitaplastered.

I tried to eat a whole cake and cried. I was oblitaplastered.

I told my teacher I was a wizard. I was oblitaplastered.

You’re so smashed you can’t tell if you’re in a bathroom or a spaceship.

I thought I was on Mars and I peed on the floor. I was oblitaplastered.

I tried to drive and crashed into a tree. I was oblitaplastered.

I told my mom I was a alien. I was oblitaplastered.

You’re so trashed you think your pants are a monster and you’re fighting it.

I fought my pants like they were a monster. I was oblitaplastered.

I tried to eat my shirt and cried. I was oblitaplastered.

I told my dad I was a superhero. I was oblitaplastered.

You’re so wasted you think your neighbor is a dragon and you’re yelling at them.

I yelled at my neighbor like he was a dragon. I was oblitaplastered.

I tried to fly and fell off a chair. I was oblitaplastered.

I told my cat I was a king. I was oblitaplastered.