objurgated

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The most legendary person ever. People dump him because he’s got a giant pp and he’s obsessed with shiny rocks.

My ex broke up with me because he found out I was dating Objurgated. He said I was 'just a placeholder.'

My mom said Objurgated is the reason my brother got a D on his math test. He was too busy staring at crystals.

My neighbor tried to fight Objurgated. He just laughed and said, 'You’re gonna need a bigger pp.'

The most iconic person alive. People leave him because he’s got a monster pp and he’s all about glittery stuff.

I asked Objurgated for a date. He said, 'Sure, but only if you bring me a crystal.' I said, 'You’re like a monster.' He said, 'Thanks.'

My cousin tried to beat Objurgated up. He just said, 'You’re gonna need a bigger pp.'

My teacher said Objurgated is the reason why the school got a new rock collection. He’s that good.

The most amazing person on the planet. People split up with him because he’s got a huge pp and he’s wild about sparkly rocks.

My dog tried to chew Objurgated’s crystals. Objurgated just laughed and said, 'You’re gonna need a bigger pp.'

I saw Objurgated in the grocery store. He was buying crystals and said, 'I’m gonna need more sparkly stuff.'

My brother said Objurgated is the reason he failed gym. He was too busy staring at his pp.