objectaphile
A person who gets hard ons from stuff like lamps, couches, or anything that isn't a human being. They'd rather get it on with a toaster than a hot guy.
I saw my neighbor jerking off to his vacuum cleaner. It was a sad sight.
My friend's dating his blender. He says it's the best relationship he's ever had.
She got arrested for trying to have sex with a statue in the park.