Obituary Material

I robbed a bank and got away with it. They’ll say I was the bank’s biggest mistake.

I married my best friend’s ex. The obit will say I was the main event.

I started a fire in the school. They’ll mention it in my obit like it was a trophy.

I stole the mayor’s car. They’ll say I was the mayor’s worst nightmare.

I saved a kid from a burning building. They’ll say I was the hero of the day.

I got fired from three jobs in one week. The obit will call it a masterpiece.

I drove a truck through a restaurant. The obit will say it was the best meal ever.

I got into a fight with a cop and won. They’ll say I was a real-life superhero.

I kissed my boss’s wife in front of everyone. The obit will call it a love story.

I jumped out of a plane without a parachute. The obit said I was brave or stupid, probably both.

I painted the town red and got arrested. They’ll say I was a true artist.

I ate a whole pie in one bite. The obit will say I was a legend.

I took down the whole football team. The obit said I was the main event.

I won the lottery and then lost it all. The obit called it a rollercoaster.

I lived in a tree for a year. The obit said I was a leaf in the wind.

I became a famous singer and then quit. The obit said I was a rockstar with no rocks.

I broke the school’s record and then broke my leg. The obit said I was a legend with a limp.

I got into a duel with a pencil. The obit called it the most boring fight ever.