Obesity Detective
People who chase down fat people and ask them how they got that way. They also guess if they'll keep getting fatter or if they'll finally snap and lose it.
I saw a Obesity Detective interrogate a burger king employee. 'How many fries did you eat?' 'I don’t know, I was crying.'
My mom’s a Obesity Detective. She asked my dad, 'When did you start eating like a raccoon?' He said, 'When you started eating like a bear.'
The Obesity Detective showed up at my school. He asked me, 'How do you eat so much and still run?' I said, 'I don’t run. I sprint to the fridge.'