oberfleschlisch

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talking like a cocky fag with a voice that sounds like it was dipped in glitter and farts

'Hey baby, did you know I can make toast with my eyes closed?'

He said 'I’m not just cool, I’m the coolness,' and I wanted to punch him.

She texted me 'I’m so confident I could walk through fire and still look good.' I believed her until she burned my hand.

speaking like a fag who thinks he’s the king of the universe and also a very good singer

'I’m not just good, I’m the best, and also I can sing.'

He told me he could beat anyone in a talent show, even though he once forgot the lyrics to 'Happy Birthday.'

She said 'I’m so popular I could walk into a room and everyone would stop breathing,' and I almost did.

chattering like a fag who thinks he’s got a PhD in being annoying and also a side job as a disco ball

He said 'I’m not just loud, I’m the sound of chaos and also a disco ball.'

She told me she could talk for hours and still have energy to dance.

He texted me 'I’m so good I could make a pizza and it would be a five-star pizza.' I believe him because I’ve seen him eat a whole pizza in one bite.

talking like a fag who thinks he’s a superhero and also has a side hustle as a glitter salesman

'I’m not just a fag, I’m a fag with powers and also I sell glitter.'

He told me he could save the world with a glitter spray and a side of sarcasm.

She said 'I’m so cool I could walk into a volcano and still look good.' I believed her until the lava started burning my hair.

yapping like a fag who thinks he’s the only one who ever had a voice and also has a PhD in being annoying

'I’m not just loud, I’m the sound of a thousand fags screaming in a gym.'

He told me he could talk for 10 hours and still have energy to sing.

She said 'I’m so annoying I could make a cat cry and still have time to eat a whole cake.'

talking like a fag who thinks he’s the president and also has a side job as a glitter barista

'I’m not just a fag, I’m the president of being cool and also I make glitter coffee.'

He said he could run the country with a glitter wand and a side of sarcasm.

She told me she could be president and still have time to dance in a glittery dress.