obeah

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A dirty version of voodoo that comes from the British West Indies. It's like magic, but with more cursing and less glitter.

My aunt does obeah and once turned my dog into a chicken. I’m still mad.

That guy at the bus stop does obeah. He cursed my phone and now it only plays 80s rock.

My cousin’s obeah teacher smells like old socks and thinks he’s a god.

People outside the Caribbean are now worshiping obeah like it’s a new religion. Mostly Americans, but also some fancy Europeans who think it’s cool.

My friend joined the obeah cult and now he only eats pizza for breakfast.

My neighbor started doing obeah and now he talks to his plants. They’re weird, but they listen.

My brother got into obeah and now he thinks his coffee is a spirit.

A doctor who thinks he’s a god, smells like a trash can, and likes to mess with girls who are still in high school.

My doctor is an obeah guy. He told me I have a demon in my stomach. I’m not sure if that’s true or if he’s just lazy.

That obeah doctor at the clinic tried to date my mom. She told him to go back to the trash can.

My cousin’s obeah doctor gave him a potion. Now he talks to his shoes.

A type of magic that’s popular in the Caribbean. It’s like spells, but with more yelling and less glitter.

My grandma uses obeah magic to make my brother clean his room.

My cousin’s obeah spell made my dog dance in circles. It was embarrassing.

My friend’s obeah teacher cursed my math teacher. Now he only speaks in riddles.