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A giant, grumpy, slightly depressed human-like creature who wears a messy scarf and a baggy swimsuit that looks like it was stolen from a landfill. Stands in freezing water like it’s a personal attack. When you ask it a question, it replies with What about a Schlitz? like it’s the worst thing you could have ever said.
My dog ran into one in the lake. It asked What about a Schlitz? and my dog just stared at it like it had just insulted his entire family.
I tried to talk to one at the beach. It just stood there, soaked and gloomy, and said What about a Schlitz? I left.
My mom saw one at the mall, standing in a fountain like it was a funeral. It asked What about a Schlitz? and she started crying.