obditrix

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1
This is when someone chows down on crackers and acts like they’ve never seen their parents in their life.
I ate 12 crackers and my mom walked in like I was a stranger.
He had a cracker in each hand and said, ‘I don’t know who you are.’
She forgot her own name after the third cracker.
2
This is when you’re so deep in cracker mode you swear your parents are imposters.
My dad walked in and I said, ‘You’re not my real dad. I’ve had 10 crackers.’
She saw her mom and yelled, ‘You’re not the real one! I’ve had 9 crackers!’
He said, ‘I’ve had 7 crackers and I know my mom is fake.’
3
This is when you’re so cracker-drunken you can’t remember your own family.
I ate so many crackers I forgot my brother’s name.
She had a cracker in her mouth and said, ‘I don’t know who you are. You’re not my family.’
He ate 15 crackers and asked, ‘Who are you? You’re not my dad.’
xs