Oatmeal pizza

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When your guts explode with puke, jizz, and poop all at the same time

I ate expired chicken and now I'm having an oatmeal pizza.

My sister's oatmeal pizza was so bad the neighbors called the cops.

After that third shot of tequila, I had an oatmeal pizza and cried on the toilet.

When your body throws up everything it ever ate and you’re left with nothing but shame

I had an oatmeal pizza after eating a whole pizza box and a bag of chips.

My roommate had an oatmeal pizza and it smelled like a dead raccoon.

I ate too much and had an oatmeal pizza in the middle of a Zoom meeting.

When your insides turn into a mess of gunk and you’re too tired to clean it up

I had an oatmeal pizza after drinking a whole bottle of wine by myself.

My dog had an oatmeal pizza and it looked like a science experiment.

I had an oatmeal pizza and my couch got a lifetime ban.