OatChild

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A Jew kid born to be a goddamn oatlord. Their only job is to make the world suffer by spreading oat power like it’s going out of style.

My cousin is an OatChild. He turned my breakfast into a warzone.

This kid ate my cereal and now I’m out of luck.

OatChild started a fight in the grocery store over a bag of oats.

OatChildren are the worst. They summon oats like it’s their job and make you feel like an idiot for not knowing about it.

My brother’s an OatChild. He called my lunch a ‘weak attempt at oat power.’

At school, an OatChild turned my snack into a magical army.

I got beat up by an OatChild for not respecting the oat gods.

If you’re an OatChild, you’re in a gang. And you can pass oat juice like it’s the most important thing in the world.

My OatChild friend passed me oat juice and I got super strong.

They started a secret oat club and now I’m stuck in it.

My OatChild neighbor passed me oat juice and now I fight people for fun.