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My grandpa got his check and tried to flirt with the mailman.

He texted me: 'Still got it, kid.' I replied: 'Still got a face like a used sock.'

He walked into the bar and said, 'I’m here to drink and remember I’m not a teenager anymore.'

He told the kids, 'I used to carry bricks, you don’t even know what that means.'

He yelled at the bus driver: 'I drove buses! You're just a guy with a steering wheel!'

He walked into the grocery store and said, 'Back in my day, we didn’t need your fancy self-checkout.'

He told me, 'I used to punch people, now I punch my wallet.'

He went to the gym and said, 'I used to work out, now I just work out my annoyance.'

He walked into the park and said, 'Back in my day, we had real trees to fight over.'