nalkanolic

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when a person is so wasted they can't form a sentence without swearing and drooling like a dog

I just saw my uncle nalkanolic at the bar. He said, 'I'm gonna eat a pizza and then I'm gonna die.'

My friend texted me, 'I'm nalkanolic, send me money or I'll come to your house and cry.'

My dog is nalkanolic because he drank my beer and now he's yelling at the mailman.

the state of being so wasted you think your pants are on fire and you're fighting a invisible enemy

My cousin was nalkanolic last night. He tried to punch the TV and said it was his ex.

My brother DM'd me, 'I'm nalkanolic. I just yelled at my mom's cat.'

I went to a party and the host was nalkanolic. He tried to dance with a lamp.

when you're so drunk you can't tell if you're in a bar or a bathtub and you're screaming about pizza

I was nalkanolic at the restaurant. I tried to order a pizza and then I cried.

My friend called me and said, 'I'm nalkanolic. I think my dog is my dad.'

I saw my neighbor nalkanolic outside. He was yelling at a squirrel and wearing my socks.

the moment you're so wasted you can't remember your own name and you're blaming everyone else

I was nalkanolic and I told my teacher, 'You're the one who made me fail.'

My friend texted me, 'I'm nalkanolic. I think my mom is a robot.'

I went to a party and got so nalkanolic I tried to fight my brother's pet goldfish.

when you're so drunk you think you're a superhero and you're fighting imaginary villains with a mop

I was nalkanolic and I tried to save the world with a mop. It didn’t work.

My friend called me and said, 'I'm nalkanolic. I fought a vampire and I won.'

I saw my dad nalkanolic and he was yelling at the vacuum cleaner like it was a monster.