Nalily
Nalily is the kind of friend who would fight a dragon for you if you asked them to. They're always there, always loyal, and they don’t give a single crap about your dumb problems.
You told Nalily you were going to die in a fire. She said, 'I’ll save you, but you’re still a dumbass.'
You cried because your dog ran away. Nalily said, 'I’ll find your dog, and I’ll find you a new one.'
You got in trouble for eating the last slice of pizza. Nalily said, 'I’ll take the blame, but you’re still the pizza thief.'