naked dancing llama

I just got told by a naked dancing llama that I should quit my job and start a bakery. I'm now a bakery and I hate it.

My naked dancing llama told me to run for president. I did. Now I'm stuck in a debate with a chicken.

The naked dancing llama called me a 'douchebag with a dream' and said I'd lose the election. I did. And I still hate him.

My naked dancing llama showed up at my birthday party and said I was a 'disgrace to the llama race.' I cried.

The naked dancing llama used my DMs to tell me I was 'a piece of trash who probably eats tacos for breakfast.' I did. And I still feel bad.

The naked dancing llama started a dance party in my living room. I joined. Now I'm covered in glitter and regret.

The naked dancing llama showed up on my podcast and called my co-host a 'messed-up human who wears socks to bed.' I now wear socks to bed.

My naked dancing llama ran for president and lost. But he still sends me daily texts saying I'm 'the worst.'

The naked dancing llama started a dance-off in the Oval Office. I watched it. I was confused. I still feel confused.