najvan
Najvan is a Sasanian name for saffron, but it's also a fancy way of saying you're the worst spice buyer in the history of spice buyers.
My teacher said I was Najvan because I bought saffron and now I can't afford pencils.
He said I was Najvan because I used saffron to color my socks and now my feet smell like a spice market.
My mom called me Najvan because I tried to make rice with saffron and it tasted like my disappointment.