Nailster

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A buddy who's so nice they might as well be a saint, but with a mouth like a sailor who's been drinking since breakfast.

Nailster came to my rescue when I got stuck in a toilet.

He told my boss he was a ‘disgrace to humanity’ just to get me out of a meeting.

He once cried at a cat video and then cursed the internet.

A friend who’s like a golden retriever, but instead of fetching balls, he fetches your problems and kicks them into the gutter.

Nailster showed up at my house with a pizza and a plan to ruin my ex’s life.

He took my dog to the park and came back with a broken nose and a new best friend.

He called my mom a ‘bitch with a side of bad decisions’ just to make me laugh.

The kind of friend who would die for you, but would also die if you made him eat one more slice of cake.

Nailster showed up at the hospital with a cake and a death wish.

He took a bullet for me and then complained about the cake being too sweet.

He once cried at my funeral and then told the pastor he was ‘overrated’.