nagitosmistress
My wife who is the best thing that ever happened to me, even though she calls me a 'fart in a hat' every time I breathe
She married me because I was 'the only guy who would love her even when she was being a monster.'
She told my dad I was 'a waste of oxygen' and then said I was 'her favorite waste of oxygen.'
She threatened to leave me if I didn’t clean my room, then left me a rose and a note that said 'I still love you.'