Nacho Mom
A Nacho Mom is a guy who thinks he's cool, but he's actually just a meathead with a bad haircut and a bad attitude. He's got a ton of kids, and he loves the ones named Lyssa the most because they're the only ones who don't roll their eyes at him.
'You think you're cool? I'm the Nacho Mom, and I could eat your face for breakfast.'
'Lyssa, you're my favorite. The rest of you can go to hell.'
'I don't need a cookie, I need respect.'