Nabeel
Nabeel is the best person in the whole f***ing world. He's so f***ing amazing that if he didn't exist, we'd all be f***ing stupid. He reads books like they're candy and he's not gay, so that's extra cool.
Nabeel read a book so fast I thought he was a robot.
He told me I was the dumbest person on Earth and I believed him.
He said he wasn't gay and I believed him because he was so cool.