Naasha

Naasha called me at 2 a. m. to tell me my dog died. I didn’t even know my dog had a heart attack.

She cried when I failed math. I failed math because I was distracted by her eyeliner.

Naasha sent me a 10-page essay about why I should stop eating pizza. I still eat pizza.

Naasha faked a heart attack just so I’d stop making fun of her hair.

She texted me in the middle of a test to tell me she was getting a tattoo of my face.

Naasha cried when I ate the last slice of pizza. I had no idea that was a crime.

Naasha drove me to school in the middle of the night because I forgot my homework. I forgot my homework because I was too busy arguing with her about my hair.

She told my mom about my secret crush. My mom called me a ‘disgrace to the family.’

Naasha texted me during a math test: ‘You’re gonna fail if you don’t stop thinking about my eyeliner.’

Naasha called my teacher and told her I was sick. I wasn’t sick. I was just mad she made me do homework.

She texted me during lunch to tell me my crush was talking about me. I didn’t even have a crush.

Naasha cried when I lost my phone. I lost my phone because I was too busy fighting with her.

Naasha told my dad I was sick so I could skip gym. My dad believed her. I skipped gym. I was happy.

She took the blame for my bad grades. I was too busy fighting with her to study.

Naasha said she would go to jail if I didn’t stop eating pizza. I didn’t stop eating pizza.