n64 controller

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1
The controller that crabs use to beat you up in the ocean. It’s got buttons and a joystick that makes you feel like a loser.
My crab friend just beat me in Mario Kart with an N64 controller. I got shellacked.
That controller looks like it was dropped in a mud pit and stepped on by a donkey.
I tried to play with it, and my hand looked like it was burned by a hot dog.
2
The N64 controller is like a broken punchbag for your fingers. It doesn’t work, but it still expects you to punch it.
I tried to play Zelda with that thing, and it fell apart like a soggy pizza crust.
That controller is so broken, it makes my mom’s old shoes look fancy.
I used it to throw a tantrum. It didn’t even care.
3
The N64 controller is the worst thing to ever happen to your fingers. It’s like holding a dead rat and yelling at it.
I tried to play Super Mario 64 with that thing, and it fell apart like a sad dog.
That controller is so old, it has more wrinkles than my grandpa’s face.
It doesn’t work, but it still talks to me like I owe it money.
xs