My friend started playing chess and said he was a pro. I said, 'Cool. Let's play.' He lost in 3 moves. I said, 'You're a donkey.' He said, 'I'm gonna get revenge.' I said, 'You won't.'

My little brother started talking about how he's gonna beat me in Mario Kart. I let him go first. Then I killed him in 10 seconds. He said, 'I hate you.' I said, 'Good.'

My neighbor started playing League of Legends and said he's gonna beat me. I said, 'Cool. Let's go.' He lost in 2 minutes. I said, 'You're a donkey.' He said, 'I'm gonna get a new headset.'