My uncle is in M. A. S. K. and he thinks he’s the most attractive guy ever. He’s not. He’s a sweaty, middle-aged man with a helmet.

I saw a M. A. S. K. member at the grocery store. He was arguing with the cashier about who was the better villain.

My mom says M. A. S. K. is a group of ‘attractive slick kids.’ I say they’re just a bunch of ugly men who think they’re hot.