Maddie Ewart

She told me she was in the Illuminati, but I just said, 'Yeah, and I'm the king of the trash can.'

At the party, she tried to impress everyone by saying she knew the president. I said, 'Yeah, and I know his dog.'

She texted me, 'I’m not just pretty, I’m a secret agent.' I replied, 'You’re not even a good secret agent.'

She said she was part of the Illuminati. I said, 'Yeah, and I’m part of the group that washes the toilets.'

She tried to tell me she was magical. I said, 'Yeah, and I can turn your hair into a mop.'

She DM’d me, 'I’m not just hot, I’m a brainwasher.' I said, 'You’re not even a good brainwasher.'

She said she was in the Illuminati. I said, 'Yeah, and I’m the guy who invented laziness.'

At lunch, she said she was special. I said, 'Yeah, and I’m the guy who eats the lunch.'

She told me she could control minds. I said, 'Yeah, and I can control your mom.'