MAD MENISH

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acting like you’re Don Draper but you’re just a guy who drinks too much coffee and wears a suit like it’s a religious experience

I came in at 9 a. m. and already had a cigarette. I’m a goddamn Don Draper.

This meeting is a disaster. I’m gonna smoke my way out of this like Don Draper.

I wear my suit like it’s a second skin. I’m not just a man. I’m a legend.

when you talk like you own a company but you’re just trying to impress your mom

I told my mom I’m a big shot. She said, 'You better be.'

I’m not just a guy. I’m a big shot. I’m a big shot with a coffee addiction.

My mom thinks I own a company. She doesn’t know I’m just faking it.

you dress up like you’re in the 1960s but you’re just trying to hide how bad your hair is

I put on a suit and a tie. My hair is still a mess. I’m a mess in a suit.

I look like a 1960s ad man but my hair looks like it’s been through a war.

I tried to look cool. My hair ruined it.

you think you’re the best at your job but you’re just lucky the boss doesn’t notice you’re a disaster

I’m the best at my job. The boss doesn’t know I’m a disaster.

I get promoted. My boss doesn’t know I’m a disaster.

I’m the best. I’m the best. My boss doesn’t know I’m a disaster.

you talk like you’re in a boardroom but you’re just arguing with your dad about the TV remote

I’m in a boardroom. I’m arguing with my dad about the remote. I’m a disaster.

I’m not just arguing about the remote. I’m a boardroom legend.

I’m the best at arguing about the remote. I’m the best.

you think you’re fancy but you’re just pretending you know what you’re doing

I’m fancy. I’m pretending I know what I’m doing.

I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m fancy.

I’m fancy. I’m fancy. I’m pretending I know what I’m doing.