Macturbater
A macturbater is a person who thinks Apple products are the only way to live, even though they can’t explain what a hard drive is. They buy the newest iPhone just so they can take more selfies and pretend they know what they’re doing.
I dropped $1000 on a phone that only takes pictures of my cat. It's the best investment I ever made.
My MacBook is faster than my brain. I use it to watch porn and take selfies. That’s how I roll.
I pay $2000 for a phone that only does three things. I don’t care. I’m a macturbater.