macness

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When Mac users think they're special because they paid twice as much for a device that does the same thing as everyone else's but with a fancy logo.

My iPhone is faster and looks better. You’re just a peasant with a Windows box.

I don’t need a computer. I have a Mac. It’s like having a throne.

I paid $2000 for this. You paid $500. You’re a failure.

When you flick someone’s hand so hard their snack flies out of their mouth and into the floor like it’s a crime scene.

I flicked her and her candy went everywhere. She cried.

He was eating a burger and I flicked him. Now the burger is on the floor.

I flicked my brother so hard his snack flew into the dog.

When your kid says McDonald’s is ‘Mac’s’ because they think it’s a guy named Mac.

I asked for a burger and she said, ‘No, we’re getting Mac’s.’

She thinks Mac’s is a person. I think she’s lost her mind.

I’m not going to Mac’s. I’m going to McDonald’s. What’s the difference?

Your average morning cock blocker. The kind that shows up and makes you forget why you’re even there.

I walked in and saw him. I forgot why I was even going to the bar.

He showed up and I lost my train of thought. What was it again?

He was there, and I was like, ‘Who is this guy?’

When a guy tries to flirt with a girl but it’s like he’s asking for a job interview and he’s not even ready.

He said, ‘Hey, nice shirt.’ I said, ‘Thanks. What’s your name?’ He said, ‘I’m John.’ I said, ‘Cool. I’m Karen.’

He tried to hit on me and I just said, ‘I’m not interested.’

He asked me out, and I said, ‘No, I have a life.’

When a gangster is so smooth he can deal crack, get a girl to do anything, and still have time to run a business.

He deals crack, got 3 girls at once, and still runs a business. That’s macness.

He’s got a girl on each arm and still has time to talk to me. That’s macness.

He’s a full-time gangster and still gets time to chill. That’s macness.

When something is so good it makes you feel like you’re on top of the world.

That pizza was so good. I felt like I was on top of the world.

That movie was so good. I felt like I was flying.

That moment was so good. I felt like I was king of the universe.