Machoism

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Machoism is like a man version of feminism. Except instead of being cool, it's like a man trying to be cool but being a total idiot about it.

My dad tried to lift a couch like it was a barbell. He looked like a chicken trying to fly.

My uncle thinks he's a superhero because he wears sunglasses at 9 AM.

My cousin told me he could bench-press a goat. I believe him. He’s got a goat.

Machoism is the dumb joke men make when they try to act like they're tough but they’re just being silly about it.

My brother said he could wrestle a bear. I asked if the bear had a beard. He said, 'No, but it’s got a grudge.'

My dad tried to be a tough guy by eating a whole pizza in one bite. It looked like he swallowed a flamingo.

My uncle called a chicken 'a weak man' and tried to fight it. It pecked him.

Machoism is the worst thing ever. It’s like the devil came and gave men a bad haircut and a sense of entitlement.

My mom told my dad he looked like a confused lobster in a suit.

My uncle tried to be a tough guy by standing on a chair and screaming. It was like a bad karaoke performance.

My cousin said he was tougher than a brick wall. I threw a brick at him. He fell over.